Tough love or soft love?

Parents often question; whether should we be caring, or teach them to stand on their own two feet

I’m sure it’s a question for many parents. I’m sure if I were one, I would have the same dilemma.

Tough love or soft love?

Tough love builds independent children.

As per soft love, it builds team players. They’re there for others, they seek to help, and are okay to ask for help.

Tough love, however, teaches you the dark sides of the world before you can even grasp the kindness of humanity.

I’m sure that says enough.

I don’t like to extend anything beyond its necessary point.

I’ll let your mind connect the dots from the experiences you’ve seen. From the different stories, gossip, and real-life examples portrayed right before you.

For me- it was sacrificial soft love first, then tough love. My mom wanted me to stand on my own two feet, though I suffered in my teens; in my adulthood, there have been countless times when I thanked her for this route.

Not every mom is like mine though. Not everyone can play the role so poised.

But my mom, the angel of my world, has known when to push and when to pull.

She’s always taught me things and explained them when I needed clarity. But has always told me when I needed to get up on my feet because I would be okay. And I was okay. I turned out great. Wise, loving, and patient.

So I encourage you parents, to not get so lost in the idea of if you are being a good parent. Or if you are choosing the best approach; but to just be - a real parent. With your mistakes out in the open. And conversations constantly flowing on the living room couch. To this day my favorite room is the living room because it’s where conversations and connections happen. And my bed is probably the safest place I know - because of the nights, my mom would cuddle me and tell me bedtime stories. Phone calls with her are heavenly. No one knows your mother like you do. And no one that knows you like your mother does you.

So - when you’re reading this - whatever approach your parents took on you, take it as a gift, it was their first time living life too. And they chose - the best for you. In their own ways. Perhaps they lived a life depending - and they wanted to teach you to be independent. Perhaps they got hurt for being too kind, so they wanted you sharp and strong. Perhaps they lived life unexperienced, so they enroll you in every kind of experience there is. Perhaps… the list goes on.

So my dear parents, tough love or soft love? Which is better?