Firstborn sons

The firstborn boy.

The favorite, yet the one who somehow is negligent of this favoritism. As if they wish they weren’t loved this much.

Whilst for a girl, it’s all they could ever want.

A boy knows the weight of being a son and a firstborn. If your family hadn’t been successful in their endeavors. It is now your responsibility to achieve them, isn’t it?

To all the firstborn sons:

I admire you.

And I love you deeply. Sensibly, with the softness that you crave and the respect for your sternness.

I respect you for your strength. For your resilience, and for your merhamet (Turkish - translate it yourself)

First-born boys tend to have sympathy and understanding like no one else. They’ll be so considerate, so careful with their speech, so gentle yet stubborn to get their way. Do not disagree with them.. Because if they were loved correctly, they would be stern. You cannot change that.

But I do want to tell you that, you don’t always have to be aloof. Yes, you can be the lone wolf, but even they, find their mates to be soft around. Softness might have been proven to be a weakness in your life, it could have been a common topic of people taking advantage of your softness - especially family, but the girl who has no blood relation to you chooses to love you.

So when a girl looks at you with sparkles in their eyes, and love and admiration beaming through them, believe them. Believe that girl truly loves you, and will always choose to love you gently. Maybe not always, because every human has their limit, but if you show her acknowledgment and appreciation that you at least see her intentions - while they are pure - they will remain pure.

To the lonely boy, the world is on your shoulders I know, but you were unfortunately or fortunately, the one chosen for this. Your soul wouldn’t thrive in another role. You were one of the rarer souls who were chosen to be a firstborn son because only you - with your merhament could bear being a firstborn son. You were chosen, and I as a not-first-born-son apologize for myself and alike; I’m sorry we couldn’t be as strong as you to share the weight of the pain. Our shoulders were never broad enough to bear the weight… so it fell on yours..

I am sorry, but man do I admire you so much.

How well you have put yourself together, how well you’ve raised yourself. Alone in every endeavor. And constantly winning.

It’s not only tough to watch your family as a firstborn and feel responsible for the issues that have nothing to do with you; to not only learn how to give a hand to them as help, but also conquer every skill, every challenge, and win every competition even when you have no support system… Is remarkable.

‘‘Support systems’’.. They lack huh?

Support systems only think of themselves, cry in your view, scream out their anger on you, and project all the consequences of their past onto you..

Yeah.. I know your pain.

The pain is felt always, it’s felt through and through every child, but the rest, unlike us have siblings who say the right things. Have siblings who instill the right seeds because they know how and when it will help you. To give you at least a bit more strength to get through what they know -you will soon go through.

This message is written for you from a firstborn daughter.

I unfortunately have to stay on this side, though I see your pain. I have to remain feminine.

But to be masculine.. takes such strength, I wish you’d all have a true lover by your side.

This specific theme has been in my prayers and wishes. I wish that every masculine man gets a feminine woman who loves him through his scars. And I pray you find, the healing you never got. Because the love between a feminine and a masculine, when the female is the observer of all his scars, yet we see them in a light of admiration - to admire you for just how much you’ve proven yourself to be a good man. Generous, protective, humble, hard worker, high achiever, sympathetic and thoughtful, yet kind and considerate. All the things that make a man a man, are all the things he’s lived through, fought through, breathed through. And for you, the masculine- to keep it all hidden behind a smile, for the sake of our joy, and eyes sparkling for as long as possible, is the best kind of love.

So as my last note to the firstborn sons,

Thank you Veterans of this world and life. The grandpas who have gone through everything we go through in a lifetime, very early in their life.

Thanks for showing us how to deal with each mess.

Thank you for showing us all the ways on how we can express our feelings.

Thank you for normalizing expression, and learning to live your life to the fullest. Thank you for being the crazy one who goes out to get ice cream at 2am if we wanted it. Thank you for showing us that in life, you must not have regrets, and for giving us the empowerment we need to survive in this world.

Thank you, ‘Bolshoy Brat’ (Big bro - in russian), you’ve really taught me alot..

And you will always be the best in my eyes.