For those who struggle to speak

Everyone has struggled to speak with certain people as they'd like to at some point. I often wonder why this happens. Is it because we hold back due to our assumptions? Or is it because we're too afraid to trigger something in the other person? Or is it simply because we're not comfortable pushing for open and honest communication in society? In a world where superficiality has become the norm, and being real has become taboo, it's no surprise that we struggle. Speaking honestly, having authentic conversations, and sharing our truth led many to be killed, imprisoned, or "ghosted". So, I wonder if any people can say that they speak outwards through their 5D selves. If you're not familiar with the concept, the 5D self is the thoughts you have, the drive that motivates you, and your mind, soul, and spirit connected as one - the real you. So, why are we so afraid? Why do we hold back so much? Why do we lie?

Over a year ago, I experienced a motorcycle accident that gave me a gift and clarity to find peace in our world. I was following the rules and taking my time on a 25 mph road to cross an intersection with a green light. There was no doubt that I would make it through safely. But, there was a car waiting to turn. I remember my teachers saying that if you're turning at an intersection, you let the person going straight pass first. I know the driver saw me, but as soon as I got right under the light, he pressed the gas. It felt like an intended murder. And right there, I felt disappointment - something I had always fought against to remain hopeful in humanity.

This was a big theme in my life. I was always told by pessimists that I was too positive, too hopeful, too good. That day, I realized we all have our darkness for a reason, and no matter how good you are, sometimes you have to take the dark path because it will show you the truth to help you. Perhaps if I had gone at 60, he wouldn't have had time to run into my left leg. Perhaps I wouldn't have been let down by the world. I know you might think I'm taking it too far, but the next scene confirmed this for me.

When I found myself on the sidewalk with my motorcycle a few feet away, the man got out of his car, and I asked him to call an ambulance. He looked down at his phone, looked back up at me, and said, "They're not answering. Can you believe it?" My answer was a definite no. I couldn't believe that instead of kneeling next to me and making sure I was okay, he had even refused to call 911. He went back to his car and sat there, not even acknowledging that I was lying on the ground with a broken leg. And that's when I realized that you should always listen to your gut.

The point of this story is, that when you hold back because you want to follow the rules, most times you hurt yourself.

Instead, fuck what the world wants from you, or all of us. Because as you can see, people living scared to speak up, has given the ignorant more power. More authority because they know real people, who inspire simply don’t exist. But that’s far from the truth, isn’t it? I know the 400 people that constantly read these posts are real. Otherwise, you wouldn’t come back here for every post. You wouldn’t be spending 3 focused minutes to read everything. I know you exist. So, I won’t ask for you to go out there and change the world. That’s a big responsibility.

But I will ask this, change your world. Speak when you want to. Don’t worry about the chaos it will cause for the outside, as long as it doesn’t cause a storm inside you. Speak. Conversate. Say what you feel, because one thing is true,

God puts us in each other’s lives for reasons far beyond our comprehension. Perhaps something you say, could be reassurance, or help, for the other person that they need to grow.

I remember when I was going through it, questioning my worth, and myself. But an acquaintance, whom I don’t speak to on a regular messaged me one day, and out of the blue said ‘‘You’re a gem, don’t forget that. You’re a diamond in the rough. Keep being you.’’ Straight out of a book. And the scariest part was, that a few weeks ago I had broken down in front of God. I had prayed like I never did before. Asking him to guide me to a path that leads me to him. I was crushed, depressed, sad, lonely, and everything in between. But God uses his people, to deliver you messages you need to hear. He speaks to us every day. That’s why it’s important to tell the truth and to speak when you feel that urge to. The more you compress, the more you quiet those urging feelings to say something - the more you’ll cause misery, in yourself, and others.

You may not believe in God, and to be honest you don’t have to. There will always be someone who does. A mass in that, that does believe. So in one way or another, if not inside your life, God exists in life. And you exist in that same life.

Lastly, I’d like to remind you of that wholesome peaceful feeling you get when you get everything off your chest. The peace you feel in that tiredness of working honestly every day in whatever situation it may be. Whether it be spending time with family, or making time to run an errand for your loved ones even while being tired.

The more we are honest, the better we feel. Don’t you dare be the devil’s advocate.

You know it’s true.