Our inside voice

The way that you speak to yourself is a reflection of how other people spoke to you in your childhood.

Let me tell you how I've come to see this and more so verify it.

First and foremost, there is change that everyone can make, every human has their own set of characteristics, some of which you can deem to be a flaw- according to yourself.

Throughout this episode, I will tell you some things from my childhood that can put into a better view to understand - how you think of yourself formulates early on in your childhood. And together we will decipher some common ways children grow up and how the set of experiences affect their adult lives.

In my childhood, certain things I remember that my mother used to do is call me by different titles. She’d call me a director, president, minister, doctor, and silly nicknames like kiki, dida, dasha, piqqu. Yet never things like dumb, stupid, or useless. She had always encouraged me through the­­ tasks I’d complete. For example when she was sick at only 7 I knew which medicine to bring her according to her complaints. And in return I’d be praised as her doctor. This instilled a feeling within me that I was good at remembering which medicine was good for what. I knew far more than some adults did. I knew remedies, recipes, rituals and cleanses. Not because they were taught to me. But simply because my mother had already called me by smart names that I subconsciously started to act like them. I paid attention, and observed. Because I believed that was my identity. See when you call your child by anything, you are instilling their identity onto them. A child cannot disagree with you and be independent. Their entire existence relies on you. Relies on something. So when the exterior tells them they are this, they don’t even have the ability to question it. It will just be written in their subconscious and they will the spend the rest of their lives becoming it, or subconsciously acting to fit into the criteria you’ve just given them.

As per my mothers encouraging words like my president daughter, my leader, I became surprisingly good at being in the spotlight. I never felt embarrassed, and I excelled in such roles.

I just believed that this was my world, and that nothing could ever go wrong.

And this, is why I was never afraid to take chances. I never thought that I couldn’t, and when I did I had a mountain standing behind me, always protecting me with her prayers, and always encouraging me.

I know I’m so lucky. I know that not everyone is as blessed as I was. But I believe that one is capable of rewiring what’s been given to them, and reparenting or raising themselves.